Tue. Sep 17th, 2019

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Reed Alexander’s Horror Review of ‘A Quiet Place’ (2018)

4 min read
You know what this movie had?  Tension.  Agonizing, hair raising tension.  Every god damn moment is just so fucking tense!  It grips you and won’t let you go.  The sense of alienation.  The fact that the character have to spend their lives walking on egg shells or they're fucking DEAD.  And there is never a moment of reprieve.

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If they hear you, get a fog horn…

I know a lot of people were bitching and moaning about not spoiling this movie, but it’s been over a year, and if you haven’t read my reviews before… SPOILERS!!!

But seriously.  What the fuck is there to spoil?  It’s not like there’s going to be some twist ending where the fucking monsters decide to join a men’s quartet or some shit like that.  For fuck sake, the whole movie is set up in the previews.  Something hunts by sound.  Be very fucking quiet.  Stay quiet, you live.  So much as fart, you die.  Where are we expecting there to be spoilers?  I mean, there’s the big monster reveal, but it’s not like I’m going to sit here and doodle a caricature of one.

And fuck, their monster reveal didn’t take very long.  Not even five minutes in and one of them eats a toddler pretty much right in front of you.  You don’t get a great look at it, but this movie really wasn’t holding much back.

So no, there really isn’t any great secret to spoil about this movie.  But let me tell you something, it was fucking fantastic!  Fan-fucking-tastic!  I don’t often say that I’ll shill out the $15 at the theaters to watch anything.

You know what this movie had?  Tension.  Agonizing, hair raising tension.  Every god damn moment is just so fucking tense!  It grips you and won’t let you go.  The sense of alienation.  The fact that the character have to spend their lives walking on egg shells or they’re fucking DEAD.  And there is never a moment of reprieve.

So the acting was stellar.  My god there was this one scene where one of the lead actress steps on a nail and the whole fucking audience cringed.  The atmosphere was fantastic. Everything hung with overgrowth or was smattered in rust and dry rot, like a proper post-apocalyptic world.

But the whole post apocalyptic setting is actually something I kinda have a problem with.  Okay, so I can understand that these creatures might have kinda taken over the wild and could be hard to root out and destroy.  But these wild animals caused the collapse of society?  How?  I mean yeah, they’re tough as bastards, but they have a PRETTY FUCKING obvious weak spot.  AKA the giant unarmored head membrane they HAVE to expose in order to hunt by sound.  Their whole fucking head opens up and exposes their squishy parts when they hunt.  I mean, the lead actress fucking blasts one and that’s all she wrote.  It drops like a sack of drowned rats.  So a woman just gave birth kills one with relative ease, but apparently our whole military might was helpless…

And you mean to tell me that all of our military power failed to figure out, that a creature which hunts SOLELY by sound, could be defeated by using sound.  We have sound cannons that are designed to incapacitate normal humans with normal ears.  What the fuck do you think that would do to a creature whose head is one giant fucking ear?  I’m just saying they had options.  It’s a pretty big stretch to say these things could completely topple society.

One of the best scenes is actually one of the dumbest scenes.  The mother of the family is pregnant from the get go.  First off… who the fuck is dumb enough to bring a screaming baby into this world?  Okay, glancing over that, let’s say you have absolutely no choice.  They were smart and designed a soundproof room to deliver the baby and keep the baby in while these things are stalking about.  Not a bad idea, so maybe, Idontfuckingknow, put the bitch in the fucking room when it’s getting close to time?  Look, as bad as they set things up, I’d have stuck her ass down there in the last trimester just to be safe.  Yeah it sucks, but if you’re dumb enough to bring a baby into this hellscape, you pay the price.

Anywho.  I don’t want to give you the wrong impression.  Despite the gaping plot holes in the very premise, this movie is still fucking worth it.  I can’t stress enough how good it was.  It’s a must watch for all adult audiences.

Thank you for your continuing support of Reed Alexander’s Horror Review and by extension Daily Review.  You can continue to support these reviews by sharing them on Facebook and Twitter.  You can support me by purchasing a copy of “In the Shadow of the Mountain.” Check out the sample at the link below and consider purchasing a copy for only $5+tax.
https://horror.media/a-sample-in-the-shadow-of-the-mountain-by-reed-alexander-2019

Also, be ready for my upcoming novella co-authored with James Lief “Inhuman Error.” Part of a three issue series that follows an elite investigation unit of the FBI called the Unnatural Perpetrators Department.  The UPD is tasked with hunting down and stopping serial killers of ‘unnatural origins.’  Just check out that cover art!

Smaller-size-Inhuman-Error-1

 

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